My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
