Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
