You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
now i know why i became what i already was.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
