I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize