God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
