i always forget guys have bellybuttons
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
