Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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