she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
