This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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