Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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