just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
