Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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