u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
