Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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