dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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