I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
