Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
