If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
