just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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