I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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