Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
