Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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