no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
