Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
