1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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