I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
