I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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