A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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