ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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