fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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