I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
