do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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