Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
