Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
