I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
