im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
