He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
