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• (239): View more from Florida

  you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Security deposit gone.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  burned down garage with fireworks.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Spring cleaning

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