We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.