Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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  (248): I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis http://tfl.nu/utf8
  Replies (38) Good night (3263) Bad night (847)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i just made my gag reflex go away.

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  (336): i just made my gag reflex go away. http://tfl.nu/haya
  Replies (47) Good night (7124) Bad night (719)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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  (843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place. http://tfl.nu/9vyk
  Replies (36) Good night (1660) Bad night (6111)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

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  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2327) Bad night (5111)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  go get him tiger.

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  (312): just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun" (1-312): go get him tiger. http://tfl.nu/5kmx
  Replies (17) Good night (4902) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.

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  (805): He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head. http://tfl.nu/up5g
  Replies (17) Good night (5909) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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  (517): I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him. http://tfl.nu/gawh
  Replies (5) Good night (2827) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.

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  (917): Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/c8gk
  Replies (2) Good night (3110) Bad night (850)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.

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  (417): I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor. http://tfl.nu/qpor
  Replies (8) Good night (916) Bad night (1962)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.

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  (318): Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius. http://tfl.nu/se02
  Replies (7) Good night (1317) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.

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  (402): In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing. http://tfl.nu/xv1v
  Replies (6) Good night (704) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem

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  (949): he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem http://tfl.nu/y96p
  Replies (1) Good night (1212) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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  (402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l
  Replies (14) Good night (2511) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face

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  (864): I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face http://tfl.nu/2gbk
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk

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  (248): His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk http://tfl.nu/d0l5
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (277)

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