Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

  (586): View more from Michigan

  2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

  (586): View more from Michigan

  3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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  (586): 1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night (586): 2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street (586): 3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call (586): So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you http://tfl.nu/crcb
  Replies (8) Good night (1843) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.

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  (248): My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla. http://tfl.nu/zjhc
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (2647)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

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  (704): i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them http://tfl.nu/p2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (2154)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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  (856): I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do http://tfl.nu/mquj
  Replies (34) Good night (3760) Bad night (775)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.

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  (304): Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck. http://tfl.nu/b4ti
  Replies (31) Good night (1630) Bad night (6238)
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  (707): View more from California

  I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.

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  (707): I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/fbru
  Replies (9) Good night (3755) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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  (231): I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/yxdj
  Replies (5) Good night (1662) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make

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  (417): You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make http://tfl.nu/3d29
  Replies (5) Good night (2228) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".

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  (206): he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun". http://tfl.nu/e6oo
  Replies (8) Good night (3473) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (657): View more from California

  He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"

  (818): View more from California

  this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!

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  (657): He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up" (818): this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!! http://tfl.nu/b19c
  Replies (13) Good night (3440) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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  (916): BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you http://tfl.nu/atej
  Replies (1) Good night (1061) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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  (570): Also I found and fixed my beer gun. http://tfl.nu/qi6j
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around

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  (650): Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around http://tfl.nu/5sia
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild

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  (858): I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild http://tfl.nu/cajq
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.

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  (607): Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all. http://tfl.nu/kqey
  Replies (1) Good night (117) Bad night (259)

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