He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's not a walk of shame if you run