some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.