Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra

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  (916): ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra http://tfl.nu/wsqt
  Replies (5) Good night (2782) Bad night (614)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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  (208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a
  Replies (29) Good night (3472) Bad night (746)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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  (202): i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society http://tfl.nu/5vfp
  Replies (55) Good night (1079) Bad night (4102)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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  (732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr
  Replies (32) Good night (1573) Bad night (4534)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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  (705): Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this http://tfl.nu/08vw
  Replies (40) Good night (1957) Bad night (6673)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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  (802): I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress' http://tfl.nu/zrhx
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (840)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.

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  (620): Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak. http://tfl.nu/19rz
  Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (2791)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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  (218): We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/2b3c
  Replies (7) Good night (2069) Bad night (817)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me

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  (850): Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me http://tfl.nu/sziw
  Replies (5) Good night (1822) Bad night (763)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.

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  (304): I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life. http://tfl.nu/wtpe
  Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (1207)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke

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  (608): you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke http://tfl.nu/n0vk
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (529)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.

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  (832): She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me. http://tfl.nu/8d60
  Replies (7) Good night (1048) Bad night (411)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on

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  (309): Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on http://tfl.nu/7ltw
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (411)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.

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  (941): i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win. http://tfl.nu/m2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.

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  (708): I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/iir7
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (127)

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