Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
