new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
