singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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