i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
