I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
