I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
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I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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