Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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