i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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