Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
