so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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