i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
