I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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