Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize