Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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