He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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