Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
