Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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