im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
