he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
