Tell her she can't have a vagina
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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