They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
