Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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